Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Slush Files; Part 1

Anyway, back to Montana for a minute. The best way to sum up this beautiful state is with this item from a local paper demonstrating 5-yr olds wheeling power tools as I'm told, "the way God intended them to."

Yep, everything is alittle different here at Glacier. Here is a excerpt of some of the entertainment we enjoyed in it's national park;

This Evening’s Programs (The Slush Files; Part 1)
Welcome to Glacier National Park. We at the great Lake McDonald Lodge invite guests to our free park sponsored seminars. The schedule for the week of the 24th is as following;

Monday at 8 pm at the Fish Creek Amphitheater we present “Watch Your Step!” by Professor Françoise Manúre, author of Every Critter Poops. This interactive program will demonstrate how our forests are just one big bathroom and includes real scat samples of all shapes and sizes to pass around. Cookies and beverages will be served.

at 8:30 pm there will be a discussion in the dining hall called “How to Get the Most Out of Buffets.” This lively, comprehensive course is led by buffet-expert and health-skeptic Bob Grievances and cover subjects including pre-meal fasting and pacing yourself. Buffet Bob will teach you how to eat and evaluate using the catch and release method from his bestselling book, All You Can Eat. Continental breakfasts vs. breakfast buffets will also be discussed. Snacks will be served non-stop.

Thursday at 8:00 at The Avalanche Campground, “Can Your Marriage Survive This Trip?” Vacations can be relationship killers. Dr. Trudy knows this and will work with couples through common vacation pitfalls like how much to tip and what happens when you get really sick and tired of each other. Nobody leaves the class until they learn her buzzwords; compromise and separate-vacations!

“BEAR HERE! Gone Tomorrow; Grizzly Self-Defense.”
Did you know humans cannot outrun bears? But did you also know most bears do not know Jujitsu? Master Lin will show you how to use black belt against the black bear and other, quote unquote, alternative methods of campground combat including hypnosis and slight-of-hand. Don’t let bear attacks ruin your visit to Glacier National Park. This popular fireside demonstration will be conducted Fridays at 9 pm in the Many Glaciers Lodge. Please bring one frying pan, a helmet, a pound of sliced deli meat and pepper spray.

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